• She is my neighbor’s wife… mine will return home shortly responded the man.

“My wife will return home shortly” - Man

 An armed robber broke into a house one midafternoon.

• You don't know my father, he won't pay you back...

Student speaks the truth about his father in class

A teacher was trying to explain a simple mathematic concept to a student, and decided to use the student's father in his example:

• A little later, another boat came by and a fisherman asked, “Hey, do you need help?”

“God will save me” – Preacher

 There was a preacher who fell in the ocean and he couldn’t swim. When a boat came by, the captain yelled, “Do you need help, sir?”

'I need to poison my husband'

A married woman entered a Pharmacy, she walked to the Pharmacist looked straight into his eyes and said: 'I would like to buy a FAST KILLING POISON FOR HUMANS'.