Akpos who was a houseboy usually sneaks into his Oga’s room, drinks his wine and adds water to top it up. One day his Oga bought a new wine called Pasties, it was a french wine that changes colour if water is added to it. Akpos unaware of this, sneaks into his Oga’s room, drank the new wine and added water to it. Immediately it started changing colour.
AKPOS: I am in trouble, big trouble.
He ran to the kitchen. Meanwhile, Oga and Madam were seated in the parlour, while Akpos was in the kitchen.
OGA: Who drank my Pasties?
OGA: Akpos, who drank my pasties?
No answer. Oga walked to the kitchen and saw Akpos there.
OGA: Are you insane or what? Why when I call, you say “Oga” but when i ask you a question you don’t answer me.
AKPOS: Oga when you are in the kitchen you don’t understand anything, except your name.
OGA: Is that so? Okay go to the parlour, stand beside Madam and ask me a question while I stand here.
Akpos went and did what Oga said.
OGA: Yes Akpos
AKPOS: Who goes into the maid’s bedroom when Madam is not at home?
AKPOS: Ogaaaaaa!!! You dey hear me, I say who dey sneak enter the house girl room when madam no dey house.
No answer. Oga runs out of the kitchen.
OGA: Wonders shall never end. Akpos, it is true o, when one is in the kitchen, one does not hear anything, except one’s name.
MADAM: That’s not true. It’s a lie.
AKPOS: Madam, do you want to be tested?
AKPOS: Oya enter the kitchen.
MADAM: Yes Akpos!
AKPOS: Who is Junior’s biological Father? Me or Oga?
Madam rushed out of the kitchen.
MADAM: This kitchen needs to be fumigated o, I can’t understand anything at all.
Oga walks away slowly nodding his head.
Credit: G. K. Mude