- A gentleman recently told me that he fears a woman who is beautiful, intelligent and gainfully employed but single!
Age 30 is a big deal in every woman’s life. When a single woman is about to celebrate her 30th birthday, there is often one thing running through her mind— marriage. Her married friends will remind her about it. Her parents will also do same.
Approaching 30 as a single woman can sometimes send shivers down one’s spine. People can sometimes even make one look like a failure if they are not married yet. Many may have to unfortunately succumb to the pressure and settle for “anything”.
One of the themes our new play, Emergency Wedding, tackles is how biological clock has become a deadline for marriage, forcing a lot of young men and women to take decisions they later regret. We take a look at how many are willing to do anything just to beat this self-imposed deadline.
I interviewed a few single friends (all aged 29) to have a clear view of how they perceive life as they gradually approach 30. It is obvious Rita, Florence and Wendy (not real names) feel the heat of society as long as marriage and childbirth are concerned. They are, however, not alone.
Have a peep at their responses and always remember society’s deadline is not God’s deadline.
1. What is your greatest fear as you approach 30?
Rita: To be mocked because I am not yet married.
Florence: It used to be not having a child by 30 but now, it’s a whole lot. I won’t call it fear but I am a bit worried I won’t be married by 30.
Wendy: I need more time to achieve all my plans and time is running out.
2. Do you sometimes think you are the cause of your spinsterhood?
Rita: No. I believe I am walking in the will of God for my life.
Florence: I used to think I was. My ex said I was too ambitious and independent. Well, with time I got to realize all such weren’t true.
Wendy: Sometimes, I guess so.
3. How have your friends, colleagues and family subtly pressurized you to settle down?
Rita: Some urge me to give birth if marriage is delaying. Others urge me to pursue my marriage as I pursue my dreams.
Florence: My boss jokingly told me it is part of my KPIs (key performance indices) to get married. My sister who hardly posts on Facebook recently posted my picture and captioned it ‘Single and searching’.
Wendy: They have introduced people to me and given out my contact to others. Other times, they ask when I am going to get married as giving birth at a certain age could come with complications.
4. Do you think 30 is the marriage deadline for you? Will you give a man any second thoughts if they approached you for marriage today?
Rita: 30 is not my deadline. I will wait on God till the right person wants to be with me.
Florence: Absolutely not! I want to be married but I won’t jeopardize my own happiness just to be married. I will not risk my children being raised in an ungodly, adulterous home. I understand no one is perfect but there are certain traits I won’t compromise on.
Wendy: No. There’s no deadline even though the earlier the better.
5. What’s the most ridiculous comment anyone has made about your singlehood?
Rita: Someone I respect so much told me to just find a man to impregnate me so I can have a child to pride myself in!
Florence: A gentleman recently told me that he fears a woman who is beautiful, intelligent and gainfully employed but single!
Wendy: “Are you going to marry your books!?”
Have you been in the shoes of Rita, Florence and Wendy before? How did you overcome such? How do you think young singles (both men and women) can find the balance between waiting for the right spouse and wasting time? What are some toxic narratives you have heard about single people?
Share with us on all your social media platforms with the hashtag #EmergencyWedding.
Kobina Ansah is a Ghanaian playwright and Chief Scribe of Scribe Communications (www.scribecommltd.com), an Accra-based writing firm. His new play this 2020 is “Emergency Wedding”.